Just the other day, Bethany and I got a bit frustrated with each other over how a discipline issue was handled in the home with our oldest daughter. When all was said and done, she recognized my leadership but we still had a solid difference in opinion. I believed I was right in principle and practice. She believed I right in principle, but wrong in practice. I was amazed that she had the audacity to be mad at me about this; however, after working through that with the Lord, she told me the next day that she was no longer mad at me, even though she still believed very strongly that I was wrong in my timing and execution.
When she told me this, I immediately began fuming. I said to her, “what!? You have no right to be mad at me. I did nothing wrong.” I felt as if I was on trial in the courtroom. I felt like I was the one on trial for something that I believed whole-heartedly that I had done right in the eyes of the Lord. In my mind, it was absolutely necessary for my innocence to be known to my wife in the matter. So I expressed my frustration to her about this, to which she patiently and kindly responded by saying, “It’s okay. You don’t need me to agree with you. You don’t need me to think that you’re right.”
Would you believe it? She was right. She was reflecting back to me the same thing I’ve challenged her about from time to time. Often times, we make a stand “for justice”, saying that it is absolutely critical that everyone knows that I am right in this. We feel compelled to ensure that our “right standing” is known to the world around us. Yet, beneath it all, we need to ask ourselves the following question: “Are we fighting the issue because there is a life-altering issue of Biblical morality at stake, or are we concerned about our reputation and how people see us?” When my wife graciously informed me that I didn’t need her to agree with me on the matter, I realized it was the latter and I struggled to let go of my idolatry of self. Thankfully, I had 30 minutes left on my drive home to process and remember what Christ has accomplished for me.
At the core of my being, I had forgotten the promise of God through Christ in which He tells us that “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). For those who are in Christ, no one can bring a charge against them because our righteousness is found in Him. “Through one transgression, there resulted in condemnation to all men, even so through one act of righteousness, there resulted justification of life to all men” (Rom 5:18). We are justified by His blood, and through our Lord Jesus Christ we receive reconciliation (Rom 5:9-11). So in the matter at hand, whether I was right or wrong was irrelevant! I was more concerned about my “right standing” while I forgot about the fact that my right-standing before God had been secured in Christ Jesus.
Now there is much to be said about the reality that sin is a legitimate issue that needs to be addressed and dealt with. If there was a clear moral issue at stake, it must be addressed in the context of Gospel provisions. But let the truth be known that we should to be aware of and counter our own self-preservational tendencies to argue for our own right standing, and instead, trust in the truth that Christ has interceded for us to make us right before God in all eternity. It removes the burden of guilt (be it true or false guilt) and sets us free to trust in His provision and restore relationships such that they model the love of Christ.
After wrestling with this on the way home, I walked into the house to see my lovely wife and precious daughter watching Mary Poppins. Because of Christ’s provision, I realized that I no longer had to fight for myself. I was able to hug and kiss both of them before I went about working on a school project. At least for the moment, my faith in His provision of righteousness was greater than my fear of being found guilty. Thanks be to God!
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